LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND (CHAPTER-9)

WITHOUT   YOU 

"What should I do, Nitya? my mind is really not working at this moment. Please help me!" Sarah asked anxiously.

"I don't know, Sarah. That's up to you. But I thought you should let Zayn know first about your past. Whatever you gonna do, do wisely as you are already have someone in your life. Just go and tell Zayn everything about Raghav " Nitya replied.

"Nitya, its not that easy to tell Zayn everything . We have met after a lot of hardships and i don't wanna loose him again. I really can't ruin my present due to my past." Sarah said wiping her tears.

" Sarah I understand what you said .But you have to sort out things either talking to Zayn or Raghav. If you leave everything as it is , it's gonna complicate your present relationship. So just prepare yourself and muster the courage to face this situation. And the most important thing To live in present you have to come out of your past "

"You have his numbers ? "

''whose? Raghav's number ? . Ya, I have , But what's going on your mind tell me.''

"I couldn't tell Zayn , until I face my own past. I'm gonna talk to Raghav firstly."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I am.

Sarah was afraid that seeing him again would bring up all the old feelings and emotions she had been trying so hard to forget. But somehow she gathered the courage to talk to him and face her past.

They were meeting after 3 years and the same place was decided where they used to meet years back. Raghav was someone who filled Sarah's life with the kind of drama and excitement that no one else could. Being with him Sarah's life had always resemble a roller coaster , filled with risk, romance, and passion.

They were just beseated just next to each other.

"Hey, Sarah . Nitya told me , you wanted to talk to me."

After all that happened years ago between them ,Sarah was really astonished that how he could be so okay, neither a single line of disappointment on his face nor any guilt on his voice. Sarah was lost in her thoughts, thinking about that the person with whom she had spent so many important moments , who promised her that he would never let the tears come in her eyes. The same guy is sitting in front of her who left her crying years ago .

"Hey , are you okay ? Sarah" Raghav asked .

" Ya , I'm all okay" Sarah replied wiping her tears with a gentle smile ."

Waiter came and asked for their orders.

" One cappuccino for me and espresso for sir " Sarah ordered .

" You still remember ? "

"I never forget anything about two peoples in my life, one who loves me the most and another who hurt me the most ".

"Hey, I'm really sorry , I really wanted to talk to you that time, I wish could tell you but I couldn't ."

" Sorry? No Raghav , I'm sorry . You have come so long for just talking to me, I'm sorry that you are facing the girl again who you had left for no reasons ."

"Forget about all these, so tell me how's Kajal, she must be with you right ?"

"Kajal? where did Kajal came from between our conversation. ? are you alright? i think there is something wrong with you Sarah. "

"Wrong, ya I also felt something wrong when I came to know you already had someone in your life before you come in relationship with me."

Raghav had no words to tell he knew his sorry can't fill the gap created years ago .Words can make someone laugh or feel special but it can't fill the big gap in a relationships created by mistakes .Raghav came there thinking that he can make Sarah convince to come back to her life, but he couldn't find words to tell after he heard Sarah.He was not facing that Sarah who he used to know, full of innocence and shy. She had changed a lot., time has changed her a lot.

"I was so wrong , and I did many mistakes ."

" That's totally fine Raghav , it's been 3 years "

" Yet , Sarah . things can't end up so easily , there is something remaining , how could you behave so normal after all this happened,"

"Normal ! really did you say that ? I couldn't remain normal for so many years and maybe even now, I have not been able to console myself completely. Only at this time you are observing that things are abnormal but the things are not normal since you left me, I don't care anymore whether he dark circles on my eyes or my hairs are managed or not .I used to leave suddenly from a ongoing party or any gathering , When everyone was silent , I used to laugh and cry when apart. I still admire the night we met, the words you spoken to me and I felt myself the luckiest one. I still laugh when your words comes on my mind .Your promises that you'll never leave me alone even my shadow left my side, but I forgot promises are meant to broken .You even promised me no matter what happens, we gonna marry and stand by each other forever . But you couldn't Raghav, you left me alone."

" That's what I wanted to tell you , the reason why I did all this ,"

" I don't need any explanation ,I don't have any courage to listen another lie, please."

" I know , You don't trust me anymore or believe on my promise , but for god sake just listen to me for now ,after that if you'll say I will never come in your way, I promise"

"Ok , after all I've came to end things up. " Sarah murmured .

" Sarah listen, I know I've hidden about Kajal from you because we were together , but we always used to quarreled a lot, we were not happy together, it was getting too much complicated and toxic.Then I found you, my happiness , true love of my life , we mutually broken up after I told Kajal about us. I was about to tell you after few days but suddenly my father called me and informed that my mom's condition and I have to come back to my home as early as possible .Actually, I had told everything about us to my parents , the way I felt about you and I want to marry you but my parents were against our marriage , they were against inter-religion marriage . I really tried hard to make them understand but it didn't work. And suddenly the news of my mom made me helpless and I couldn't decide what to do .

I rushed to the hospital to see my mom, she was inside operation theater . We were allowed to see her after the operation ,I sat beside her . She held my hand and told me that she just want me to be happy and that's why she was always against my decision , according to her our marriage could create problems for both of us , I really wanted to make her understand her that I could make things work but she left me for ever, and after my mom gone, my father died too due to heart attack. I had become very helpless at that time , I couldn't understand anything , whom should I talk or share my pain with. even if I had told you about all this , would you have understood at that time?

" I'm so sorry Raghav , I really didn't have idea that much happened to you, but you must have told me once call or message, you didn't do anything for the years. We had been together for so long , if I don't understand then who would have understood? . And I always told you that religion won't come in front of our relationship. You should have told me at least once, I would have stood by your every decision. "

"I know Sarah, but I was in the state of mind figure out anything, I thought it's our destiny to be apart . I tried everything but couldn't forget you. I know its been years but I'm still the same , yours Raghav."

She had come there thinking that she would tell everything about her today to Raghav and everything would be solved. But now she was going back with the burden of thousands of questions in her mind.